Today marks the end of our first week in the hospital and my 27
th week of pregnancy. M, Sam and I are still here, and despite last week’s scare Sam is still snug in his little home. He is very active, I think he likes that I don’t move much – more swimming room for him.
As the days go on, every day gets a little better. Sam is doing just fine . . . so emotionally I am feeling better. Not to mention that I am not as heavily medicated anymore during the day, and getting a dose of Ambien each night doesn’t hurt. Nothing like sleep to make a person feel better.
Friday – Sunday – After 48 hours they took me off the magnesium sulfate (the drug that prevents contractions), and they changed my antibiotic from IV to oral. No more IV! This meant that the IV machine wasn’t dinging
every time I bent my arm (every 15 minutes) throughout the day and during the night. This also meant that the dreaded catheter came out, and then a day later – no more bed pan.
So the catheter ... pretty much feels like you have a bladder infection the entire time its in. If you don’t know that feeling, then good for you, I hope you never do.
Now about that bed pan. I have to say, if I had actually been in pain it would have probably been fine and preferable. However, the fact that I was perfectly coherent and in no pain made the experience borderline traumatizing. Not to mention, I am six, almost seven months pregnant, so balancing on a bed pan was not the easiest task: "Help me Jesus, help me Oprah, help me Tom Cruise." (Will Ferrell Reference) I say no more.
Onto happier topics.
Monday – like totally unbelievably amazing. The OBGYN came by to check in to see how I was doing. She was pleasantly surprised to hear that I have had no contractions, and inexplicably there had been no more leaking since I was admitted on Thursday. That is when she announced I could have one shower, and a bedside commode instead of the bed pan.
Tuesday – Came and went without event except the premier of "The New Girl" and "Mindy Project."
Wednesday – the OBGYN came back with the ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that baby was doing well and that the fluid was still in the normal range. That was the first mention of – I could be going home if things stayed the same. So now I had bathroom privileges, and was told to move from bed, to chair, to couch a couple times to see if the trend would stay the same. Sounds a little high school but what can I say five steps to the bathroom is welcome exercise, and so much more civilized.
Thursday – Started not so well . . . we had our first cranky nurse. She came in and woke me at 7:00 a.m., and then began to lecture us about how much personal stuff we had in our room, and if they had to deliver the baby, what a nuisance it would be. Notably, we were told to bring a lot of personal stuff and move right in by every other nurse and doctor that we had, had so far. Then she apparently didn’t like that after I went to the bathroom I put the baby monitor back on myself. It seemed like she felt like she was losing control, and how dare I put a strap around my stomach and find my baby’s heartbeat. Ugh. After she left my room that morning, I noticed I didn’t have a butter knife on my breakfast tray so I buzzed the nurses desk (which I rarely do) and I asked if they would bring a butter knife. Apparently this was all cranky nurse number 1 could handle.
At that point happy nurse from yesterday appeared with a butter knife and said she was taking over, and that some people were just really cranky today.
Later that morning, the OBGYN came and checked my condition around noon. Two thumbs up! She also mentioned that she wanted to send me home, but the parinatologist wouldn’t clear me to go home, and still insisted that I needed to stay until 34 weeks (7 weeks away). The Parinatologist is the high risk pregnancy specialist. Although she assured me she would get a second opinion, emotionally, I fell apart once again. The exit door seemed so close, just to slip through my fingers. I mentally imagined the trailer for that new Sandra Bullock movie "Gravity" where the spaceship is falling a part and Sandra is grasping with her fingertips to hold on, just to miss holding on to the ship by a centimeter. Let’s just say . . . no space travel is in my future.
Eventually, during the day a somewhat good attitude came back.
It’s a hard thing to realize that you are not in control of anything in your life, and as an adult, even harder to realize that you are never going to be. Throughout my life I have realized and taken note of that, but then of course, daily life and routine sets in again, and I am guessing for most of us we once again lose sight of this reality.
If this situation has taught me anything so far its how to be a blessing to people that are in the same situation. I think until you are here, its hard to understand how much little notes of encouragement, gifts, flowers and phone calls etc. are to someone that is in the hospital. Before, there was often times when I thought, oh if I visit I’ll just be a bother, or I don’t know them well enough for anything I would say to matter. Once you’re here, you realize that’s not true. And everything from the smallest gesture to the biggest gesture is much appreciated and helpful.
xoxo,
-A
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